What you think about yourself plays a key role on the person you become and this influences your character, and makes up your personality trait. Self-esteem is the way you feel about yourself, and that is built from your self-image. Building up a positive image of how others perceive you and how you would want them to see you and how you look at yourself, will build up your self-confidence which boost up your self-esteem. Thus, why both self-esteem and self-image are linked together and both are triggered by the thoughts we have, and most times it cannot be seen outwardly.

It also depends greatly on the person’s attitude and how they handle it. This is because it can affect how you think and relate to others, as there will always be the hindrance of, what you think people are thinking about you or a certain flaw at that moment, thus making you uncomfortable.

Yet there are also facts that prove that self-image is contributed by a lot of factors, including family, friends, societal status (especially the community you live in). It can start in the form of words said to you by your family members or friends or the jokes they make about your imperfections. All his will lead you to start being cautious of how you look, these thoughts will be imbedded in your subconscious mind. You start by getting very aware of what body parts you want to change and all this can lead to low self-esteem which leads to depression.

Another factor that contributes to this is the “norm” that society has placed on what they define the term “beautiful” as. Hence this leads to many teenage girls wanting to fit into that way of definition, so that they can be defined as beautiful. As a result, from what girls were prompted from a very early age to take care of themselves and their looks so that they fit into the societal standard and they find valuable suitors.

Girls are taught on how to behave properly, how to do make-up and hair, not to eat too much so that they do not get “fat” as that is the way to properly take care of their bodies, as it is their “Only” way to make it successful. Whereby boys were left alone to eventually develop into themselves. And most of the time when these girls feel that they do not fall under that criteria of “beautiful” they start to feel insecure as they are very conscious of the flaws that they cannot change. Society and family puts so much pressure on girls to look beautiful, to secure a husband and a future.

Thus, why the community and family’s roles are very vital in helping to build up someone’s self-image (self-esteem).

Another major contributing factor is the media, from television shows, movies and magazines. It is advertised everywhere how girls should look like and how their bodies are a product and they need to look “perfect” always. They show all this image of women with flawless skin, perfect bodies, shiny hair and pearl white teeth. Having to watch this everyday, girls then conform to trying to look like what they see. They sell the illusion that if you are perfect and look like that it will lead to you being happy. This idea of happiness is in the way you look like. This can also be seen in the products they advertise, be it in magazines or on the TV, there are always advice on how to “lose weight” fast, get “Flawless skin” “lighten your complexion” “bigger breast” fast “Grow long shiny hair” “Get the perfect tan” “Slim waist” etc. it goes on.

Most people, especially teenage girls, buy into this. So, this whole image of you need to be skinny, long blond or black hair, big breast, perfect tan is a societal image of what they think. Acne prone skin, stretchmarks, cellulite, uneven skin tone etc are a problem to a lot of people as this is defined as “ugly”. The labelled box that we are placed in is not what is it should be like but we should realize that it is a societal norm that was placed. Just like skin colour should not be a factor on how you look or your beauty is rated. Many people associate that fair or light skin people are more beautiful. And it is something that you see being portrayed in movies and now more celebrities and people bleach their skin. And it is scary on how many percentage of women follow this trend.

 

We should try our level best to try and break the chain and what this norm is doing. That young people understand that beauty is not about how you look like and everyone is beautiful. In each way that we accept our flaws and what makes us unique is what sets us apart. Embrace it. Beautiful is not about how you look like externally, but how you feel and how you make those around you feel.

 Leana Hengari

Leana is currently a volunteer counsellor at Lifeline Childline Namibia , where she has been volunteering and working as a Change Agent Administrator, and radio program editor for the past 3 years. She has always volunteered at different initiatives, at a young age. That’s where she found her passion and calling into helping others.