56 Days

It’s November, beautiful November… dark, cold, rainy and mysterious in the Northern hemisphere and warm, sunny and friendly in the Southern part of the world. Christmas is only a few weeks away and the first plans for the festive season and the new years celebrations are already put in place. I have heard quite a few people reflecting on 2017, on their past months in the last days as well as expressing hopes for and fears of 2018.
These conversations make me uneasy. I don’t like them. I like looking back at a year, at the cycle of 12 months and check what all happened and changed, either on New Years Eve or on my birthday. I love seeing how far I have come, what I have learned, whom I have met and what I am grateful for. I love it but PLEASE, only when the 12 months are actually over.
I overheard the weirdest conversation last year in August in my favorite bar in Windhoek. My friend and I were having a sundowner and we were enjoying the evening when two young men sat down at the table next to us. One of them two was clearly upset and said to his friend: “I am so frustrated today. My boss told me that I wouldn’t get that promotion; I really think I failed at everything I had planned for in 2016.”
I overheard what the young man had said and I was shocked. “He thinks he really failed at everything he had planned to achieve this year?” I thought. But the year is not even close to being over yet. Why is he shutting down already?
I have always been annoyed about people who in August already asked me “So what are you doing for Christmas”? I have always found it frustrating when someone close after the first 6 months of a year called it a day and started planning the next one.
I used to work at a radio station in Namibia and we had a daily category called the “calendar”. We talked about the date and what happened on this day years back in time. We announced how many days and weeks are still left in the year. I loved it because it showed how many opportunities, how many chances, how many sunrises and sunsets are still out there for you in that particular year. So on that day in Windhoek I happened to know exactly how many days were left in 2016.
I knew exactly that the year was NOT over yet. Even though I usually don’t do that I addressed the man and said: “Excuse me, I am sorry you didn’t get your promotion but I have to disagree with you. There are 94 days left of 2016 so everything is still possible and I don’t think you failed all goals.”
The guy was looking at me in a bit of a weird way but he said “THANK YOU.”
Can you imagine? To give up on the year when there are still 94 days left?
Don’t get me wrong here. I understand that the young man was frustrated! He was hoping and probably working really hard on getting this promotion, had surely dreamt of it and visualized himself in that fancy new office, spent some of that money that he had hoped to come his way on a new car or maybe even just on a new suit. He had probably spoken to his family and friends about it, maybe boasting a bit and now had to answer their questions with a sad shake of his head.
I do understand all of this! And I do understand it from my own perspective and story. Let’s be honest, our triggers in others are usually things that bother us about ourselves.
I have to admit that in my head I constantly check if I am where I should be. I measure this SHOULD BE according to my age, the time of the year, my experiences and obviously compared to other people. You know what? According to my self-invented model I am never where I SHOULD BE and I never was. Even though I have a long list of things I do other people might not do. I have a long list of experiences others will never make. Others have a lot of things I am not even interested in. They also do a lot of things I would love to do but have not yet done. So according to all my lists, I am not THERE! But you know what? All of us are not there because life is not determined by getting there, especially not in the perfect time!
We are all different and we choose to walk different paths in our lives. What might be easy for you could be terribly difficult for me and that’s what I am trying to get at, it’s just not my time yet.
Have you ever wondered why some things are so easy for some of us while others are still struggling? It’s not that we don’t work hard on our goals. It’s not that we do not have an idea what we want or that we are not ready. Sometimes it might not just be our time.
On the other hand have you ever realized how easy things come to you when you just let go of control? Just a little? Even if is uncomfortable? If you don’t think that life is a mathematical equation where you put all your effort, your money, your hope and get the desired result immediately. If you allow that little space for the unforeseen, for that little bit of magic… things usually turn out great!
So let’s go back to the young man at the bar. I am not saying that he shouldn’t be disappointed. I am just saying that he could have looked at it in a different way. He did his best and wanted the promotion. Maybe however the promotion wasn’t the best thing for him right then! And maybe he should give himself a little credit for all the work he put into his goal! But most important is that by stating that he failed all his goals for the year he shut himself down for other opportunities to come his way, to find him and to present something that might even be better that he could have ever imagined.
After all, we fall in love in a glimpse of an eye, the perfect idea pops into your head within a second and the opportunity of a lifetime might just find you around the next street corner. It will only find you if you go there, if you open your eyes and your heart and you show up to life and all the opportunities that are around, even when you are at the New Years bash and the countdown to the next year has already started.
I am writing this piece on the 5th of November. There are 56 days and a few hours left in 2017. 56 times 24 hours ahead with amazing opportunities and so many moments to enjoy, to dig into, to cherish and to make the best out of. Let’s make a promise to ourselves that we fully show up to all that is coming our way, to all the magic that works so well on our behalf.