A couple of weeks ago, as I was sitting in a cab, listening to two ladies chatting about life and all the funny things happening. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop, quickly the topic changed to the men in their lives and the happenings of love. So just as I tuned myself out, trying not to listen to the topic anymore, at that exact moment, one of the ladies said, “nah, he’s a depression case.” I somehow just snapped back to follow the conversation.

So she started elaborating more on the story and went on and on. After a while just listening to the story, I literally just started getting annoyed. As I sat there listening to her, talking about depression like it’s some funny joke. She spoke about the topic so lightly, it became clear to me how uneducated she was on the subject and I couldn’t blame her. I sat the rest of the way and just wondered about the whole thing and it got me thinking a lot, especially the taboo that is associated with it and not to sound bias, but especially in the black community.

Unfortunately, we don’t speak about depression, it is associated as a “white people illness”. It is so sad because we have a lot of people suffering from it, especially within the black community, and its unspoken of, for some reason we choose not to speak about it, scared we might be stigmatized. What really affected me about the way she spoke is the simple reason that, I have been there myself. I know what it feels like to suffer from depression and I still go through it.  Its an illness, not a choice we make, nor some funny joke. What is constantly bothering me, is the ways it is so loosely spoken about in conversations.

I don’t think people will really understand unless they choose to make the conscious decision and effort to educate themselves on the topic. Perhaps then they can be more empathetic without making it a race or tribe thing.

Depression is a serious mental illness. It is a mood disorder that causes low and persistent feeling of sadness. It affects your thoughts, your mood (how you feel) and physical state (how you act) and can last for weeks. It numbs you down, and it’s the leading cause for suicide.

So many times, people do not get the help they need for depression. Some people deal with it alone. I myself included dealt with it alone for so long that it cripples you down. With no family support, especially if the family is not well informed, they may look at depression as an attention seeking tendencies and the reality is to the contrary. What is scarier is the cultural and traditional norms that comes with it, especially in the black community, and talking about it becomes a bigger issue. Especially the fact that we fear judgement and condemnation. At the end of the day we are hurting ourselves more.

I suffered from depression nearly my whole high school life, and still do. Due to the prejudice and misinformation, I didn’t get the proper help that I needed. I had to deal with it alone, to a point I got so good at covering it up and started speaking about it in the third person. I thought I was doing myself a favour, but in reality, I wasn’t. It was more of a damage to myself, as I didn’t have the family support that I needed and the times I tried speaking to some people about it, they took it as a joke. I started thinking that I was just being overly sensitive or making the choice to be sad and lonely and constantly feeling worthless, my self-esteem was at 0.001%.

Depression is serious, and the sooner we realise it and try to get the help the better. Once I started speaking about it and acknowledge what I was going through, and stop blaming myself, the better it became for me. I got the help I needed, and it became easier dealing with it, speaking up about it more and being educated about it.

One thing I realized is how cautious we are on what we want to say or how we want to say it, or better yet, not talk about it. The sad reality is that depression is a rampant phenomenon. It is not a race thing, nor an attention seeking thing. We cannot speak about it so loosely or associate it to some unwanted feeling. The best we can do is support those around us who are going through it; be more attentive and try to educate our self, be informed and stop marginalising it or taking it lightly.

We have to start facing the facts, a lot of people are suffering from depression, they are alone, and what are you doing to help them? By speaking about it more, lets create awareness on the topic, especially when it comes to breaking cultural norms.

I boldly speak about it because I have been a victim, it has had me in dark places that I wouldn’t want the next person to go through, “left alone, let that person feel like they have no one.” I am still healing, and it’s a battle. I’m not saying that its easy, but with the necessary support its going to be much easier. As family members and friends being educated and informed on it, will help the person (victim) and you deal with it better and the best is professional help or counselling for the individual. As that helped me a lot.

 

So… let us get informed. let us listen and lets help..